You know what? I was sittin here thinking, just because I don't want to talk to you guys doesn't mean I have to stop writing in here. Of course by now you'll probably stop checking so no one will end up reading this anyway, but I really don't care about that. It's just that I don't talk to anyone anymore, and I feel like I need to occasionally tell someone about my day. Otherwise it just feels completely wasted! Well, not completely.

Anyway, this is like withdrawal here for me, I'm incredibly bored now and usually just sit here downloading movies and stuff. I'm probably a pretty pathetic site to see, but luckily the only person that sees me already knows how pathetic I am, so it's not so bad.

So hmm, lemme think what's new. That big list of shit that I had to do a couple entries back, well I haven't done any of it.

Supposedly my references for the job got the lil forms they hafta fill out talking about what a wonderful person I am, so maybe by April I'll actually get the job, and then at the end of the month, I'll have to leave for summer break. AHHH! That means for all this hassle, maybe $200... I guess maybe I'll just try to get the job again when I come back next year. That is if I don't have a mental break-down and do come back next year.

Speaking of mental breakdowns, I downloaded Requiem for a Dream. I watched that last night and kinda had a lil breakdown. I cried a lot and stuff like that. That movie made me cringe up a lot, too.

I downloaded Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, too. For some reason I thought the movie was supposed to be good, like one of those ones that everyone tells you to go see, but I watched it and felt really dumb afterwards. I can understand maybe my friends told me to see it or whatever, but it was so dumb! I have to admit I laughed a bit, and those were some damn good acting jobs, but I just felt dumb because I don't think I understood it at all. I knew some of the things were flash backs, but then the flash-backs didn't make sense cuz they had new stuff in them..I don't know. I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!!

Ian called me again. Haha this kid has lost it. I hung up on him as soon as he said hi. Then of course he calls back 20 times and I don't pick up, but that's how life goes. Then a couple days later, he leaves a voicemail for me that says something along the lines of, "Nikki, for me to stay sane, I can't talk to you anymore." Maybe he didn't realize that we haven't talked in I-don't-know-how-many months?? Then he proceeded to go on and tell me that if I won't talk to him, then I can't talk to any of his friends anymore, which I found kinda funny since it was a couple days after I decided not to go online anyway! Fun, fun.

My gramma, with the fractured pelvis, if any of you care, is doing well. Just in a lot of pain. She's still in the hospital actually, and I haven't talked to her. Maybe I'm a bad granddaughter. I tried callng and it won't put me through though.

I started this big ambient craze, too. It's like all I listen to anymore. And the Cure. I don't know if it's helping my sanity or making it worse, but I must say that I think I enjoy it much more than that other music I listen to. Well, maybe it's just my mood, cuz I still love all that stuff, it just seems like I'm never in the mood for it anymore.

Teph's online. I wanna talk to her, but I can't!! :( Fight the temptation!! I can't even talk to my fucking brother. Why the fuck am I doing this?? I DON'T UNDERSTAND MYSELF!!

I have to do a speech about a movie in my sex class. Of course, it has to contain some kinda gender and sexuality issue, but I have no movies here and if you know me, you probably know that I'm pretty deprived when it comes to seeing movies, so if you have any suggestions, email me or whatever.

I think that's it for now. If I lose this entry I'll go crazy, so..hm. I'll try not to lose it!!

Sorry again if I confused, hurt, annoyed, or (anything else negative) you. Not my intentions!! On that note, have a nice night. Bye bye.