Heyyy hoes!

Something kinda sad is gonna happen tomorrow. My brother's moving to Florida. I know, you probably think "why would you care..you don't live with him..?" but in fact, I DO CARE!!

I've had some real rough times with him in the past--in our childhood and such, but we've grown to love eachother..a lot. I'm not so much going to miss him as I'm scared for him. For one, he's definately got ADD (in my mind at least) and him driving is a sight to see. He's big into street racing and therefore him driving however many thousand miles it is to Florida from New York scares the shit outta me. Especially since his friend just drove up from Florida, fell asleep, and put his car in a ditch.

I just found out he was leaving tomorrow today, too. Talking to my mom online and BAM..."he's leavin tomorrow you know." No, sorry, I didn't know. But turns out, no one else did either. Him and his goddamn spur of the moment decisions!

I called him tonight to wish him a safe trip and all. He didn't seem all that excited about it. I told him to call me when he got there, but he said "Oh I'll probably end up callin you on the way cuz I'ma get real bored." Yeah...that made me feel good. Haha I dunno where else it's illegal, but in New York, it's illegal to drive talking on the cell phone. SO..I dunno?

One other thing that bothered me--when we were saying bye, I said "I love you" and he's like "yeah, bye." Everyone in my family (save mumpa) does that to me. It pisses me off!! Now I can sorta understand my dad and his parents doing that cuz they don't know me all that well, but my fucking brother! What if he dies?? haha he'll regret not saying he loved me then!! Ohh don't think about that.

Oh oh sexygramma may be coming back to life!!! Thanks to the help of...UserHelp...haha. He's this homeless kid I picked up on the corner of Hooker Avenue. Probably only two people reading this will actually KNOW where Hooker is..so ...it's where I live back in NY...haha cept all the hookers actually hang out on Church St, not Hooker. And that's not where I found him either. He found me. But he is in fact a male prostitue pretending to be my mom. Or maybe that's just what I fantasize...Whatever, I thank you, sir.

I made flash cards today!! A whole whoppin 23 of them. You should be impressed, as I've never done such a task. I even made them pretty by highlighting important words with colored highlighters. Green Blue Pink Orange Yellow! GO!

My dinner is still sitting next to me..I really don't feel like eating it. By now it's cold (supposed-to-be-warm) turkey and hardened mashed potatoes topped with coagulated gravy. I know I should be salivating over a meal such as this, but fuck it, I'm not hungry.

"The Fragile" is playin.. I don't know why I'm gonna write this, but I usta wish this song was written bout me. And therefore it has some sentimental value. I don't wish that anymore...I don't know why I did (C Webb will have his own opinions on that), but it still makes me sad. Maybe it also has something to do with seeing them doing this live for MTV and how sad Trent looked (and how sexy Danny did..). And when Trent was doing the lil "picking and picking" motions..it could be translated as him fondling a woman, but FUCK..he looked so sad!!

I WON'T LET YOU FALL APART!!!

On that note, I'm out...gotta study and whatnot..

PEACE!