Eck...I miss Ian...This entry is probably gonna be worthless, so watch out. Well I go home...in two and a half hours...and I'm anything but happy. Not sure why exactly.. I was looking on my wall...and right next to my head...there's a pic of Ian. I wonder if I should take it down, but I kinda don't want to. I mean, I wanna be reminded...or do I? I still love him...it sucks though. Oh well...

I've been hopping back and forth between my bed and here. I tried to take a nap...that didn't work though. I went thru APC, VAST, and now NIN...no sleep! Hmm...I think I started out happy today...I don't remember.

I think I upset Chris too :( I'm not positive...it's weird...but it still made me sad.

Oh look, my gramma's online. She's weird. It's too early to wake up...why does she do it? Why do any old people do it? You have nothing to do in your life, and yet you still wake up at 5:30 to face the day with a smile...and then go to bed at 7pm... I dunno, if you have an answer, feel free to share it with me.

Uhmm my biggest problem right now? I have no idea what to do with myself. I want to sleep...can't sleep....don't want to be online...don't want to be here..don't want to be home...don't want...anything? Hah, I wish I did know what I wanted.

Why do you always wanna listen to sad music when you're sad? Sure to relate, but who likes being sad? Listening to sad music makes me more depressed and...I'm starting to wonder if I don't like being that way. Not as an everyday occurence, cuz I do like being happy, but maybe I'm just another one of those people I hate who love to wallow around in their own depression..bathe themselves in it and run around to make sure that everyone else can see it. Hmm..well that just brings me down more, hah. Oh well...

Once I get home, I'm sure I'll get happy again...unless of course the same thing that happened over Thanksgiving break happens again. I'm sure people don't wanna go thru that again and will make the proper accommodations though. Wow, that just made me sound like a bitch...if you dont want trouble, do what I want you to do...haha oh well.

Oh, there goes gramma.

I think I'm done here? mmhmm... I'd say all that goodbye for a month stuff, but I know I'll be on the computer like every day at home too, so I'll end up writing more...

Anyway...bye for now...