There are some things I just don�t get. I was sitting in my psych class today and we were talking about the book Girl, Interrupted. In the book, she talks about how she used to bang her wrist on this chair that she had, and that was therapeutic to her. She also had a suicide attempt where she didn�t really want to die, but rather kill a part of herself that she did not like�and she was successful in doing so.

So what I�m wondering about is why society is so strict about what�s right and wrong. Think about drugs. Our society goes crazy with the whole �drugs are bad� thing. Now I really don�t believe that this is entirely true. I think that drugs can be used for expansion of the mind and education concerning the self. This is of course if they�re not abused, which they commonly are�and that�s where the �drugs are bad� stance comes into play.

I never really thought about it before a few hours ago, but I believe this stance is applied to a lot of things, to the general public anyway. The particular thing I was thinking about was the whole wrist-banging behavior, though. I mean�who is it really hurting? People in class were saying that she should have been in a hospital because she was engaging in self-destructive behavior, but it wasn�t even hurting her! She said herself that it was a cumulative injury, so that it doesn�t really hurt that much.

I�ve experienced this�probably for an entire different reason. I don�t really like pain, but I wanted to cut�so I kept running a knife over a little further each time. It didn�t hurt�I got what I wanted�all was well. So what was so wrong with it?

When I hear about people who cut themselves, I kind of cringe, but what�s really so wrong with it in the first place? �besides the scars being slightly frightening to look at. I�ve just been brainwashed by society to think that it�s wrong for no apparent reason and I think that sucks!

Even suicide gets me thinking. I have extremely mixed feelings about suicide. I get pretty mad at people who do it because I think it�s an inconsiderate thing to do, but who am I to judge whether someone should be living or not? I mean, everyone�s tolerance for the crap life puts you through is different, so if you have a low tolerance, and feel like you�ll never be happy because of it, then maybe there is a reason to kill yourself. I just wish people would open their eyes and really consider what they�re doing before they try. I believe that most people have enough around them that should make them want to live, but again, I could be wrong.

And here Ian pops into my head. I got mad at him for trying to kill himself because I felt that a part of me was keeping him alive�that I had a purpose there. And when he tried, it just proved me wrong and made me feel worthless�like I wasn�t enough to live for. But instead of me thinking it was selfish of him, maybe it�s selfish of me to think that he should live through all his pain just to make me happy. There�re my mixed feelings on that�

So back to my original point�why does society get to choose what�s right or wrong for the individual? I can understand why they should be able to choose when it comes to the safety and well-being of others, but the individual should have rights and something as private as �hurting� yourself�if it�s hidden from other people and not really detrimental to yourself at all, then where does the problem lie? That�s all I�m wonderin�