My parents....

They're fighting over child support for me. I asked my dad to cosign a loan with me, but he wont because he thinks that he pays enough money in child support so that I shouldn't have to take out a loan. He pays $6,000 a year. I need a loan for $3,500.

He's trying to take her back to court to get child support sent directly to me because I guess he thinks she's using it on drugs or something?? But of course, she said if he does that, I have to leave the house...which means I won't have anywhere to go when school gets out.

I'm sitting here so fucking confused because they're both arguing through me because they can't be civilized and have a conversation with eachother, so I don't know who's right, or who I should believe.

I mean I don't know where the money goes exactly, but I know my mom buys me food, she just paid for my college books, she does the grocery shopping, she's living in this big house primarily because of me and Chris, although since Chris moved out, it's just me now. She said if he stops paying, her and Tyke will move into a one bedroom apartment somewhere.

My mom said she has to bring my dad to court again, and she'll bring me there too, but honestly I don't know if I could stand seeing them together and hearing them fight over who has to pay for me.

I thought I do so well separating the two...I don't even think of them as anything related to eachother..just two people, both I know....totally separate, but when shit like this happens and they have to come together, it kills me..

I hope I am NEVER like them in this respect...I'd rather never fuckin fall in love than have to go through this crap.

I hate thinking life's so easy, and then shit like this comes along and stomps on you. Makes sure you remember that fuck-ups are permanent.

I Gotta go...ahh